Just spoke with a woman in my State's capitol who is with the SBA. She told me there is NO FREE MONEY, as in grants for small businesses??

DH is focused on starting up a petting zoo, of all things, with the animals that my youngest son and his family have and borrowing two or three from the ranch where our youngest lives. The man owns all sorts of wild animals that he rents out to the movie makers.

DH is willing to take out $10,000 from his retirement fund for this petting zoo. All I need is $5,000 to get started and probably wouldn't need all of it at once. My efforts are minimized and treated like a child's game. My need to be home and have the computer available to me in the mornings isn't even recognized. He gets upset when I ask for access to the Internet while he plays solitaire.

I'm half-way tempted to give up my "big" plans and just produce whatever I can with whatever money I have disposable to me at the time. It sure ain't much!

Then the other part of me that's always said "Damn the torpedoes! Full steam ahead!!" starts stomping her feet and saying "Wait a minute here! YOUR plans are more realistic and more viable! Why are you putting down your own cannons?"

Then Insecurity pops up and says "You mean I went to all that trouble of writing up a business plan for NOTHING? Who are all these liars that told me the money was there if you weren't faint of heart? They said if you act timid, they'll lie and tell you 'No, there isn't any money' but if you are self-assured, you can get it." This woman I talked to this morning offered the information. gggrrrrrr Do I believe her or not?

The Torpedoes start talking to me and throwing my own words back in my face, "Ha! Who is it that is always preaching that the things most worth having are the hardest to get? We'll wrap ourselves in velvet while you're taking aim. "

Then Insecurity says, "Oh, shut up! I'm too tired right now! You know your plans are bound to fail. You never finish anything you start."

The Torpedoes respond, "Remember getting the farm, the goats, the rabbits, etc? Remember us blasting your way out of there when you'd had enough of doing everything by yourself?"