"“Toxic” gets overused a lot these days, so let’s be clear about what what we mean.

Some people in life are kind of a drag — annoying, difficult, demanding, or otherwise unpleasant. These people are not “toxic,” in the strict sense of the term. They’re just generally undesirable. With this (admittedly large) group of people, you might want to create a little distance, but you won’t have the same urgency to cut them out of your life.

Toxicity really exists on a spectrum. On one end, there’s your old friend from high school who won’t shut up about how you don’t spend enough time together. On the other end, there’s your ex-girlfriend who is still capable of manipulating you into fits of rage. Your friend might be frustrating, but your ex-girlfriend is probably toxic.

Of course, tolerance for toxicity is relative to each person — you have to decide when someone requires distance and when they need to be cut out of your life.

Those lines vary from person to person. For example, your sister will probably get more leeway than a coworker, but everyone’s sister and coworkers are different, and everyone has a different threshold.

What we’re talking about here is true toxicity — the kind that infects, metastasizes, and takes over your life. Here are a few classic signs of toxic people.

1. Toxic people try to control you. Strange as it might sound, people who aren’t in control of their own lives tend to want to control yours. The toxic look for ways to control others, either through overt methods or subtle manipulation.

2. Toxic people disregard your boundaries. If you’re always telling someone to stop behaving a certain way and they only continue, that person is probably toxic. Respecting the boundaries of others comes naturally to well adjusted adults. The toxic person thrives on violating them.

3. Toxic people take without giving. Give and take is the lifeblood of true friendship. Sometimes you need a hand, and sometimes your friend does, but in the end it more or less evens out. Not with the toxic person — they’re often there to take what they can get from you, as long as you’re willing to give it.

4. Toxic people are always “right.” They’re going to find ways to be right even when they’re not. They rarely (if ever) admit when they’ve messed up, miscalculated or misspoken.

5. Toxic people aren’t honest. I’m not talking about natural exaggerations, face-saving or white lies here. I’m talking about blatant and repeated patterns of dishonesty.

6. Toxic people love to be victims. The toxic revel in being a victim of the world. They seek to find ways to feel oppressed, put down and marginalized in ways they clearly are not. This might take the form of excuses, rationalizations, or out-and-out blaming.

7. Toxic people don’t take responsibility. Part of the victim mentality comes from a desire to avoid responsibility. When the world is perpetually against them, their choices and actions can’t possibly be responsible for the quality of their life — it’s “just the way things are.”

Source:
Signs of a Toxic Person | How to Cut Toxic People from Your Life