Thanks for all these thought-provoking replies. It's very valuable to me to see how diverse our choices are as women, yet we can be supportive to each other.

I wondered whether anyone would react to my "young man in spangled tights" comment, lol, as in "yeah, great for the young but not older than 30", or "no way!"

Please keep comments coming. I'm going to be off the net for a few days, but "watching" my reactions to men around me as I visit with friends.

Ennie, I wasn't commenting about resistance movements. I was observing that as much as I've lived women's lib. I still have a lot of conservative gender stereotypes stuck in my brain some place.

I agree that woman have special characteristics as women - we are wired differently - but I also think that women could be way more individual in everything if only.... if only something...

TishaBuv - I don't know what is Electra, but I've read most of the theories and don't find them helpful in intimate things. Relating seems so much like ping pong - he pings, I pong - I mean it's what one person puts out and how another person reacts with their stuff. So I believe in reflecting on how I behave as a woman and what I put out there - and acknowledging that a lot is totally irrational.

I'm happy to know that you have felt valued at a collection of random moments!

TL - lovely to hear your reflections!

SarahSweets - Your visiting women in prison is very special! I would like to hear more about that. People on the edge of our societies often have insights and offer particular challenges: methinks you have something special to offer going on from there.

Best wishes to you all! I will be following this thread with my inner consciousness if not actively with my computer.

BIG HUGS to those who take them!