Thank you again Kimmydawn
And thanks for sharing a bit of your personal story. It is so helpful to get various perspectives on this from people who have been in somewhat similar situations.
Yes, you're right again, this is a marital issue first...kids come later.

I suppose it is possible that my wife obsessing about TK has become a habit. I hadn't thought about it in those terms. I'm digesting that too on top of all your other great insights

I've always assumed she knew what she was doing and was keeping it a secret from me so, not only so would she not hurt me, but mainly because she knew her obsession was unacceptable.

See, for lack of a better term, my wife is what you might consider a "boat non-rocker" meaning she dislikes confrontation, she likes "everybody to just get along", "everybody to be happy" and "don't invade other's space". Dealing with uncomfortable issues doesn't seem to come easy to her. With the kids I'm usually the one who ends up being the "bad cop". And I'm trying to remember but I think most every time we've had a marital issue, I've been the one to bring it up. She does get involved and communicative once the discussion starts but bridging that gap from daily life to "we need to talk" is a challenge for her.

I've known her and her family very well for 28 years. She was brought up in a household where there was a lot of love but little discussion of the "darker" things that go on in people's heads. You were expected to deal with that yourself. The status quo was "it's all good", "put on a happy face", "bite your lip and get on with it", kind of idea. Perhaps this is the "denial" you're talking about. I'm not sure. I'm not sure if it was denial or just "deal with your own problems quietly". Perhaps they're the same thing.

So while my wife may have formed obsessive habits, I do believe she still knows that what she's doing would hurt me, and us.

Anyways, I plan to discuss the problem this weekend. I guess my biggest question since you asked how you could support me in this, is:
how to bring up the fact that, (to put this in the most unglamorous terms possible,) I've basically been "stalking her internet searches for the last 7 months." I'm not sure if she'll just shut me down after she knows that tidbit of info or if she'll be too discombobulated to even continue the discussion.

your thoughts would be appreciated.