To me it seems like they are not looking to get rid of me as I do really well with my technical work in an efficient manner. Its just our company policies and whatnot I am breaking unintentionally due to the bipolar depression. I didnt even notice this was happening until he brought it up that 70% of my last 3-4 months were days that I was working late or coming in late (we have a band of hours in the morning and afternoon where you can have a flexible hours as long as you are in for core hours). I guess it has been me abusing the policy and having a very "all over the place schedule". It just makes me feel like my boss could see me as unreliable in a physical appearance way as in me being where i need to be at the time I need to be there. I am sure HR is going to talk to me about not abusing policies and that I need to get into a routine.

I have had a really hard time trying to get into a routine. I don't know how I can do this, but I think it would be good for me. Wake up in the morning, go to work, go to the gym, come home and do home related things then rinse and repeat.

All in all maybe I am overreacting, but having conversations like this at work makes me think all the worse things. I am a hard worker but I do not want to disappoint anyone. I hate when people who are not close to me say they are worried about me or are concerned. It just makes me feel like a failure.

Honestly I wish there was something like AA for bipolar people where you could have a sponsor that has gone through the same type of things with being bipolar. I wouldnt use my mother because she is too close to me and has way more other things that make the "relating to" a little difficult. I knwo I wish this type of thing, but I have also been told that bipolar people sticking together in a relationship like that can make things worse if one or both are having extreme mood swings.

Anyways, thanks for the responses. This is my first post here and I would like to at least be part of this community. I think what is being done here is a good thing for helping myself and helping others. Thanks again everyone.