Quote:
Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie
Good God no. I would be way to self conscious that my hair smells or something if T hugged me.
|
I totally worry about this too! But we do hug. All of my T’s have been open to a hug before I left (I am a hugger) at least the ones I liked enough to ask.
Current T is my first male T and I am a female with a history of being very afraid of men. So T kept his distance, never got between me and the door, never raised his hands above his waist. Then one session he got all antsy... he had to use the bathroom and worse (to him) the way we were there was no way to get there without walking close to me, trapping me in a corner and getting between me and the door. I told him I was OK, I was very comfortable with him. As he walked by he lifted his hand to put it on my shoulder but stopped himself and felt bad about not catching himself faster. At the end of the session I asked if he gave hugs and he lit up like a Christmas tree (he gets VERY excited over any kind of trust with me) and told me he loves giving hugs. Next session I was too scared of rejection to ask. So now he asks if I want a hug at the end of the session until last week. Last week he just opened his arms and I kinda plowed into him.
When we started EMDR he also asked if it would be OK to do tapping instead of eye movements which I was super excited about (the eye movements scare me but we had not talked about it). He was surprised but I let him know that seeing as I am OK with him touching me it is nice to have touch be a part of the healing process because it had been part of the abuse.
T also does a lot of experiential activities as part of therapy and I can see at least accidental touch happening there.
If he initiated any kind of touch with a client that had not initiated it previously I think he would be very cautious about it.
I love my hugs from T but do worry that I might smell funny or something. One I live on a farm and stuff happens but two I have always been self conscious of that anyway.