I understand this. Something broke in my apartment last year and I had to call maintenance. I put it off for two months because I was so anxious. I called and he came and fixed it in like 5 minutes then left. I was so relieved.

Then I had an issue a couple years ago where half my ceiling had to be replaced due to a leak and water damage, it ended up taking like a few months of the summer. It was so horrible for me , I pretty much stayed out from the morning till around 6 pm every single day because I was too scared to be there and I knew their work shift ended then. I don't like people being in my apartment, even people I know. I don't even like people knocking on my door.

Anyway, I had to call yesterday for something minor and I had some hesitation but I just did it and the problem was taken care of right then.

I think my fear is people judging me or thinking I don't clean enough and getting me evicted. My place is very organized and clean. It's an irrational fear, but I think it comes from growing up being homeless most of the time, so I have a massive fear of being evicted even if there's no actual reason I would be.