I think Doglover was referring to borderline personality disorder (BPD). (Just as a side note, bipolar is a big challenge, but it does not make people dysfunctional in relationships.) Borderline however, tends to figure heavily in relationships. It is a disordered way of dealing with the world.

BUT. It does not matter one iota WHAT his issue is. He is abusive. PERIOD. That's all you need to know. Don't fall into the trap of trying to figure out what his problem is (I don't think you are, but just in case --don't go there) and "fix" them, because it is an utter waste of time and energy, time and energy that are needed to help YOU.

Now, onto helping you. I hope you do consider reaching out to your family. Try not to predict their reaction. Think of it this way -- Would they seriously want you to be abused?? Even *if* their reaction is less than ideal, I'm guessing they'll step up to the plate.