I am no longer suicidal, no.

@Amyjay - the suicidal ideation is definitely a pattern for me. My default response to everything is always that I have to kill myself. I have the tools to deal with depression and despair and adversity, but when it comes time to use them, I throw them out the door. It drives my T crazy.

I was feeling better by Sunday, so I made up a "suicidal ideation worksheet" to fill out when I have those thoughts. It's basically a mood log based on Dr. David Burns Feeling Good Handbook. My previous T used to make me do them and even though I hated doing them with every fibre of my being, I have to admit they helped.

So anyway, I did a worksheet based on everything that had led up to the initial thoughts of ending it, and I included that we were arguing and it was distressing. I filled it all out and brought it to my session on Monday and we talked about it. He was beyond impressed that I did that. And it did help, so I don't expect a recurrence of last weekend but hey - I'm borderline - I'm full of surprises.