Is being assertive and communicating openly with people really best?

Here’s why I ask... I observed an example with my boss and coworker that I see and I also personally experience a lot. It really bothers me... It’s not just the workplace, it’s everywhere.

I have a really nice boss and one of my coworkers in particular really takes advantage of her. Our boss has put up with months of my coworker calling in all the time and now she’s spending most of the day on Facebook. It’s a long story but this coworker has a lot of personal issues... she had a serious family emergency and then some health issues... our company is really good about accommodating these things but my coworker took advantage of the leeway she was given and she has been very lazy and manipulative.

Our boss finally got fed up and directly said something to her. Instead of acknowledging she was in the wrong and apologizing, my coworker got mad. She complained to me about how mean and unfair our boss was to her. She wanted to bad mouth our boss to me but I didn’t badmouth the boss or show any sympathy so she was a bit hostile toward me as well.

Instead of appreciating how generous our boss has been to her during all her personal issues, my worker went on the attack for being called out on her games.

I noticed that instead of arguing with my coworker who just wanted to whine... our boss has given her the cold shoulder instead. She is polite and professional to her but my coworker is definitely feeling the tension. At first she complained at being left out of lunch invites and whatnot... and then... she finally shut up and sort of straightened her act up... a little.

So here’s my question. Is it worth it to try and have honest and open communication with people? I don’t think most people can handle it because they want to blame everyone else instead. The person trying to be assertive seems to end up getting all the blame. I am starting to think actions speak far louder than words and in most cases, the passive cold shoulder gets you further than trying to be assertive.

I would really like to hear your thoughts on this...