Hi Annie and welcome to PC!

My dad was an alcoholic and so was my first husband. It didn't matter how much medical information I could give either of them, neither one of them was interested in those facts.

It's very possible that at some point your dad did start drinking because he felt depressed. Of course the booze aggrevates it terribly as it is a depressant. (along with other drugs)

If your dad has been drinking and taking drugs from many years, you can be pretty sure that his ability to think logically about this situation has been terribly compromised. It will take a huge amount of time and work to help your dad understand what he is doing to himself. Not only that, he has to be willing to accept the fact that he has a problem before he can make any changes in his lifestyle and work towards freeing himself from his addiction.

If he is not in that place right now, he will not hear you, he will not hear your concern or love...what he will hear is that you are nagging him and making more of the problem than there really is (in his line of thinking). Alcoholics (drug addicts) are skilled at rationalizing their addiction and convincing not only themselves but others that they don't have a problem or that others are the reason for their problems.

Annie, we have a wonderful Substance Abuse Forum here where people share their struggles, their sucesses and what it takes to get and stay sober. There are also folks who are supporting loved ones who are going through the same thing you and your dad are going through. I'm sure you will find some great support there.

I do hope you find some help and support in your quest to help your dad. I do know that Al-Anon is also a wonderful group and you might find some answers there too. I wish you and your dad well. I know how difficult your situation can be...I've lived it myself.


sabby