I'm glad to hear other people feel the same way about being labeled as a disorder. I've never viewed it as a disorder but more of who I am. I've been the way I am for as long as I can remember.

I had only a couple of friends like myself in high school. And when they moved away I was totally alone again. To cope
I'd go to nursing homes and play the piano for the elderly in the common room. The great conversations and details they provided gave me a lot of insight of their time era even before my parents. I've always took on more tasks than I could handle and would become obsessed with it to where I'd be practicing till 2am sleeping only a couple hours and night and go go go. I didn't have any guidance or knew many people like myself so I felt alone most of the time.

Other people have emotions and goes through bad and good times as well. I'm just more extreme with emotions and reckless behavior. 2 years ago I finally put more effort in learning more about myself and what I needed to do to better myself. I studied everything I could about all types of "disorders" and talked to other people that had disorders. Doing this has helped me tremendously in accepting myself. I still hate the world and have my moments but when I do have an episode I dont dwell on it and I force myself to get back up and shrug it off and continue on.

Due to the stigma about bipolar people especially bipolar 1 I can't ever say I have it. Within the next 2 years I'll become the next CEO of my company. I've recently been promoted to Chief Innovation Officer and I report directly to the CFO and CEO. I gave 100% to the company putting in all kinds of crazy hours in. Constantly picking up new tasks and creating new customer reports and better procedures for the departments they would move me too. I did so well in restructuring in the departments they put me that I was promoted to Chief Innovation officer and moved up to the top floor by the other executives and now I work with every department to create better communication, policies, new and improved current work procedures. We now have a snacks, candy, and coffee 24/7 in the break rooms. I'm extremely manic 24/7 after my promotion 4 months ago. Crazy thing it I enjoy being manic. When I can control my depression I'm quite productive. Now when I'm over the top manic then I'm doing all kinds of stuff and I'm going all over working on all kinds of projects, and I swear those weeks everyone must think I'm hitting the cocaine a bit too much. Being excepted in the business sector it helps me blend in without letting my bipolar show when I'm having an episode. I got into business management because I really enjoy it and it keeps me interested. I enjoy challenges and being the best.

Medications I'm on,
LAMICTAL - controls my depression very well it's now just a mild episode and that's it.
VYVANSE - helps with my drowsiness and helps with my binge eating. It really helps, I should be able to see my six pack again this summer.
BUSPAR - for anxiety due my high stress job. Works great.

I dont take anything for mania because that's who I am. The depression part of me though is too counterproductive so I've decided to tone it down to an acceptable level. Which has help greatly over the last year I've been on the medications I've listed. Don't let anyone convince you that you're not good enough. No matter what you do in life you're part of it all. Everyone has a purpose just some of us it takes us a long time to find it. I found it with my career and I enjoy helping others work together and increase sales and productivity. I enjoy seeing everyone happy even though I'm sad and lonely inside. But I've be working on that too and found having a bipolar friend got me to go hiking, parks, beach bumming it, working out, becoming vegan and getting annual passes to the local museums. I've found several support groups and even though I don't need support but It seems to be the only way to meet others like me. Being around someone that understands has helped me the most and it's made a slight impact on the emptiness. For the last week I've been at war with myself but I'm getting back up and moving forward. At this point in life I'm just too damn stubborn to lose. When I'm done it will be my choice not this world. This world only controls the majority and I'm just living in it.

Bipolar #1 person that's vegan.

PS. So I was going to keep this short but I wasnt vaping Indica instead it was Sativa. When I go to the dispensary after work people give me that what are you doing here look. Is there a dress code or something? What's wrong with wearing a suit and driving in my BMW 7 series to the dispensary? Got to love California for passing legal marijuana. I don't need drink to bring my manic level down. I vape and it helps a lot plus it helps me sleep at night. I took topomax for sleep and eating disorder but it made me so sluggish and did nothing for my binge eating. Stopped taking that and dont drink. But i think it's a bit expensive paying $500 a month for vape cartridges. When I was in college i could smoke all the time for like $50 and everyone shared. Now theres so many names and its being treated like the wine sector. It use to be just weed. Damn I rambled on when I meant to only said a quick couple sentences.