I'm sorry, Thirty shades.

Like the others said, it's most useful to stop thinking about the emotional pain when it gets out of hand. If you're not problem solving, you're dwelling and just causing more hurt. But I know it's *so* hard to stop. There were times when I just could not. (There are still times I do, but it's much shorter duration these days)

I had some luck with simple breathing meditation. At first, just that. Then even letting the thoughts pass by without letting the emotion in. I never got the hang of "embracing" the emotion.

Here's a link to some audio files I found fairly easy (there's no right or wrong way and it doesn't matter if your mind wanders -- just come back when you are ready).

Guided Meditations - UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center - Los Angeles, CA

I really wasn't interested, but I was in such distress I really had nothing to lose. So it gave me something to do for a time besides being wretched and non-functional. It eased the pain somewhat.

In general, I guess just keep trying anything because you never really know.

One thing I found that helped was not trying to do too much before I was ready. I couldn't get to happy. I needed to just be less miserable. That helped. It made it do-able.

I hope you find some relief.