to this day, I still find it really embarrassing that I laughed at a friend's funeral
in reality, it was really sad. she was young, she was still at school and she had a lot of life ahead of her

but when I was sitting their listening to the music, something just clicked and I giggled

I'm not insensitive, actually I'm the most sensitive person their is


I don't know though, as i've got older I guess I've just found funny sides to things and now even though I don't want to be involved in accidents and stuff, they facinate me and I don't wonder oh poor person for getting involved, it's more well.. I wonder if it will happen again?

it's almost if I want it to

but I don't at the same time

it's so hard to explain what I mean. my inner brain and my outer brain send diffrent signals