C was mean to me. She said I need to stop attention seeking. That made me feel like I did something bad. I guess I did seek some attention/comfort yesterday when I saw you. But it's not like I was lying about feeling ill. I also didn't walk in there consciously thinking about obtaining attention for myself. And when I told you when she hurt my arm, it was because I was scared, not to get your attention. But it's comforting to have someone be sympathetic when you're hurt or ill. Should I have tried to pretend I felt normal? That seems pretty dumb, and I couldn't have done it anyway.

I also didn't appreciate it because I never mention any of the chronic medical complaints, only when something new and significant happens. If I was "attention seeking" in the way that was implied, surely I'd have used all the material I have available to me. I don't - but I could and I don't think that would be wrong either if it was actually bothering me. But I'm used to the chronic stuff, and the symptoms are pretty mild right now, so I don't become fearful and overly distressed by them.

Anyway, whether I say I'm feeling sick or not, you are giving me your attention during session. I get it no matter what I say. So maybe C has a problem with me receiving sympathy.