So just some quick background. I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia back in I think 2014...give or take. Not sure when it started I'm guessing end of 2012, but that's besides the point. It was a while before I was on a med that really worked, I mean things got much better after that but life is a roller coaster.
I wont go into a lot of detail about when or why, which...I guess I know and if not then that's one weird coincidence, anyway at a point I wont bother to specify nightmares started, anxiety, sleep paralysis oddly enough...I mentioned in another part of the forum, a lot of anxiety and all kinds of stuff acts up at night. Something not always consistent every night but continuous. For the longest time I to referred it all anxiety. Because I mean what else would you call so much fear over night. Though I eventually came to the conclusion that it wasn't anxiety, because if I am honest I have anxiety over other things, and that is definitely not what I feel in this case. So that the case I would be more inclined to call it paranoia. I can't pinpoint what I'm afraid of, there are a lot of things. I don't think they'll all come to me right now but I can't explain what does. One being well being asleep puts you in a very vulnerable position. There are many pretty scary things that go through my head, unrealistic I know but despite knowing that they wont leave. OK I guess I can't entirely say I know it's unrealistic, because unless I take the time to reason it out and specifically tell myself it isn't then I'm left with those thoughts alone and in that moment the thing I'm afraid of is very much real. The thing is that since I wouldn't call it anxiety I have to wonder if it's caused by the schizophrenia. I haven't really brought all of this up with my therapist because 1. the last time I did I was still trying to call it anxiety and 2. there's a lot to talk about an not enough time to bring everything thing up.