I don't know all about how diasnosis diagnosises? That word, I don't really know how how that works, but with this kind of disorder you always have it or you don't. If you had it in 2003 then you'd still have it now and whether someone else believes you have it or not doesn't change whether you have it or not. Not sure if that was what you were looking for. But I know the feeling of not wanting it. I put off getting a diagnosis until I was about 27-28 because I didn't want one and didn't want anyone else to know once I'd finally admitted it to myself. It is hard to deal with, not because there's anything wrong with you or your parts. Any MI is tough to swallow because even if you're not ashamed of it you don't necessarily want it. It's not fun but it doesn't have to be absolutely miserable either.