Sounds like you are being quite tough on yourself Gymgirl. There's nothing wrong with you. You're a valuable human being. You are trying to make a relationship work with someone and it's not quite going as you'd hope. There's no shame in that. It's not a reflection of your character or worth.

I think taking a step back and giving yourself some self-appreciation could be helpful. What do you like about yourself? Write it all down and keep that list. Do something nice for yourself today just because you deserve it.

One day at a time. You'll figure out this tricky situation one way or another.