I cant relax even at my parents'.
i keep thinking i need to do it (sui) soon. but i dont know if i'll have the courage. i could "help it" with the meds, but still…
i have a plan, it just seems so unreal when i truly think about it.
on the other hand, when i think about living, truly living in the next months, i feel so overwhelmed and sui seems so much easier.
i have T on wed. but what can she really do?
i also see my good T on thursday. will it be a goodbye session?
i cant see myself working tomorrow, living through the day…
i only want to curl up on the floor of one of the two Ts and not leave.
i cant see myself at the clinic again.
i dont know what to do. i feel so unsafe. i just want to close my eyes and let myself (or life) go.