Wow. I've spent a long time thinking about all this, Doglover -- and what I am hearing from your H is this, in sum:

"YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!!"

I honestly cannot see any healthy way to be in close relationship with such a person. Holycrow. I would NOPE Outta there so fast!

Be the constant whipping-post for such a person is damaging in the extreme. IMO, the longer you stay around him the more damage you will sustain and the unhealthier you will become -- and the more inadequate you will feel. Not what you want for long term goals, no?

Just my thoughts. The best to you.

Chyia, just saying