I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, metalchick I'd encourage you to talk to your doctor about this and see how it goes from there. Hopefully he will be able to help you. I know you don't want to try meds, but I think it may really help you right now. I'd also suggest to try out therapy if you can. Perhaps you can talk to your therapist and try to work around your schedule to better suit your needs. I don't think that would be impossible. Even if you saw your therapist only once or twice a month, that would be a great improvement! I'm so sorry your work doesn't let you keep an healthy lifestyle. That sucks. It's really important. Perhaps you could start looking for another job if you can. Perhaps one that it's less stressful. I'm so sorry. It must be very hard for you. Please don't give up. We're here for you if you need to talk about it. We all care about you here. We all love you here. Feel free to vent here as much as you want. You know we won't judge you. I promise you that. We'll always be here for you. You're a wonderful person. Stay strong, metalchick. Stay safe and take care of yourself. You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! Try to hang on. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. I hope things will get better soon for you. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this