Thanks so much. These replies mean a lot to me. I got here really good advice from really warm, kind and intelligent people. I do consider all of your words and take them very seriously. That is why I wrote here - to see all of it from a different perspective. Of course, you get only a bit of the truth - a bit of what happened, additionally filtered through my aching heart, and complex emotions. But you have been very helpful. Hugs everyone, and I will keep you updated If anyone cares to read my little dramma.