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Hello 4mymother.
You've asked a lot of questions and I'm not sure if any of us can answer all of them for you, but hopefully, it will be a start. Let me tackle your question regarding Seroquel first...

all they did was send her home with samples of seroquel; but her discharge papers state Major Depression as her diagonsis. Well, why send her home with Seroquel, isn't that a antipsychotic drug.

Many antipsychotics are now being used as a treatment for depression. This link might help you understand some of the background on why that decision was made. If you read the comments as well you'll have the opportunity to hear from a few people who've actually gone that route and whether or not they found it to be helpful to them: Meet The New Anti-Depressants...

You can find more information about Seroquel and depression through any good search engine.

Now I'm going to try and tackle the larger question of providing help. To do so, I'm going to quote from a conversation that took place here not to long ago. Like you, that poster was someone outside of the situation who wanted to help their loved one...

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Those who are around an individual who is going through a process of psychosis, one of the very first things that happens is they get concerned and they get frightened. They think to themselves, 'Something's not right," and the next thought is, 'This person needs some help'. That's often entirely correct -- something is not right and the person often does need some help. Linked to those initial thoughts is another one that says, "The psychiatrist or hospital or medicine is the help they need."

In many instances, that's true. People do identify psychiatrists, hospitals and medications as being helpful to them. But in many other instances, it's not true at all. Some people identify the same as being unhelpful, even damaging. However, the initial perception is that this is what will help everyone and because that's the prevailing perception, friends and family members may feel quite justified in coaxing, insisting, even forcing people into treatment that is, at best, a hit and miss proposition. None of this changes the fact that something is wrong, that this person may require some help, and that it's usually those who are closest to that person who first recognize this.

Source: Has anyone else overcome this problem?


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Part of your current frustration seems to be related to your belief that the hospital and the doctors would be helpful to you and to your mother, yet you didn't find them helpful at all. You may not realize it, but you've just learned a valuable lesson. While hospitals, doctors and medication will be helpful to some people they won't be helpful to all. Finding the kind of help that's truly helpful often requires that we go beyond our belief structures.

Two things I consistently recommend to individuals who are recovering from psychosis and/or schizophrenia is to put together a support team and a support toolbox. Your support team is comprised of people who are actually helpful to you; your support toolbox is comprised of things that are helpful to you. Doctors, hospitals and medication may be part of your support team or toolbox or they may not be. In order to find who belongs on your support team and what belongs in your support toolbox, you need to do some research. I suggest you start with your local phone book and a good search engine and begin exploring what's available in your local area. Here's one possible resource in your area for you: Dr. Bertram Karon. Dr. Karon has a lot of insights into the nature of schizophrenia and how people can recover from it. We don't know yet if that's what your mother is going through, nonetheless, call his office. See if he'll speak to you. If he can't speak to you, see if he can recommend someone who will.

When you're talking about recovery from anything -- schizophrenia, trauma, depression, cancer -- other people who have successfully moved through that crisis can often be an excellent source of support and information. You may be able to find them on the internet or perhaps through a local support group. Bear in mind however that the kind of support you need and the kind of support your mother needs may be two entirely different things. I'll share a bit from my own experience that may provide you with some insight...

When I went through my own experience, my family members did not understand. Some of them were angry with me and considered me weak, some of them were frightened and wanted me to be who I had been before. They were not having my experience but they were being impacted by it. Before they could begin to do anything to actually help me, they had to work through their own responses first. People who are angry with you, who consider you to be weak or a lesser human being, people who are frightened and overwhelmed, these people are not capable of making good decisions on your behalf, even if they love you. The vast majority of help that came to me in my early months of recovery came from friends and strangers. It is the human connection that is the most powerful. I would not have made it through that time in my life without those people.

I find myself wondering who your mother has that she can lean on. It will likely be to her benefit if you can help her reach out to other people. Sometimes, an environment like this one is the perfect place to start. Whether she's dealing with depression, schizophrenia, or something elese, there are other people here who have had similar experiences. They can offer empathy, understanding, support, encouragement. Nothing is going to really happen until your mother believes it can happen so the first step is doing what you can to encourage or revive whatever spark of hope may lay dormant within her -- that she can move out of whatever personal hell she is currently in and into a life with restored meaning and purpose.

In case you're not aware of it, there is a forum here devoted to the topic of Depression as well. Because your mother has been diagnosed with a Depression Disorder there may be others there who can also offer some suggestions to you.

Best of luck to you and your mother.