I am pregnant with my ex's baby. I left him due to pretty severe verbal abuse. I have wanted to try to come to some sort of common ground with him relating to how we communicate. I met with a therapist some time ago and she recommended setting up boundaries for communication of what I would and would not tolerate. Though she said it may not be possible.

And she was right. He just has no comprehension of what he put me through. He tells me that I abused him. That I make up stories. I am a "pathological liar".

He actually told me we had "fights" that got a "little" out of hand. He doesn't see anything abusive about his conduct and he thinks it is awful that I could even say he was abusive given MY abusive conduct.

His ideas of little out of hand fights are him screaming at me for hours upon hours while black out drunk. Him locking me out of the house. Him calling me dumb, stupid, ridiculing my job, and so much more. He only remembers my reactions to being pushed over the edge. He doesn't acknowledge the many nights I spent crying in front of him in utter dispair from his constant verbal assaults. The times he woke to rage at me for some little thing I did he thought was done to "make him look like a fool" and hed make me so upset I would cry hysterically so hard I was dry heaving.

The last time I tried to see him was valentines day. It was his birthday, and I was feeling rather emotionally and alone. He told me he had "plans" for valentines day. I begged him to please come see me, I wanted things to be okay for our baby's sake. He KNEW I was upset. I called him and left several voice mails crying and texted him pretty much the entire night. He had no qualms about it. He told me he had always tried to love and support me and never didn't take my feelings into account just the other day. He says he has no idea where all these "abuse" allegations come from. I mentioned Valentines' Day. I quote his exact words:

Ex: We were broken up. You expected me to see you on Valetines Day?

Me: I am pregnant with your child. I was feeling very depressed. I was crying all night and really having a rough time and I wanted you to be there for me.

Ex: You are SUCH an actress. I have no idea what you were doing that night.

I ended up going over his house a few days later to pick up some belongings and I saw a valetine's heart in his fridge. I asked him where he got it and he said "a friend". I really broke down. I was crying, saying I was pregnant with his baby begging him to see me on Valetine's day and he went on a date? All he could say was "we were broken up". I ended up throwing the candy (which I regret) and he actually picked up his phone to dial the police to have me removed. I get I should have handled myself better, but I spoke to a few people about this and they all agree that they would NOT have handled that situation much better and he just seems to not have any comprehension or care about how his actions effect me.

It is ALWAYS me. It is ALWAYS my fault.







Just why?