So it's no surprise that I've been crying every day since getting Nathan's news. I feel I am grieving a loss and it FEELS like a death. I find myself looking at things he wrote me as a kid and all the zillions of photos I took of him and tearing up. Logically those are the past and can't change that. I don't want to! Im losing my little Nathan and the man he only just started to discover. And along those lines, he won't ever get to enjoy the fruits of making love to the same person over the years. In fact, as soon as he starts the testosterone blocker, he will essentially be a eunuch. No children either. I suppose that one is a loss for me- I don't know that he would feel the same. He said he'll store sperm for later but I don't think he can afford it.


Sorry- no personals. Meh... My stomach hurts