I think maybe I figured out part of what's going on with me. I think when I told him that I wanted to be "all in" with him, I hoped for a particular reaction. Something about him appreciating my putting my trust in him. Maybe saying he'd be "all in" as well. I don't know. But instead I got his saying that maybe he'd be an asshole, which would lead me to leave, and that I should accept my ambivalence. So maybe that's what some of this is about? I mean, there's sort of continual conflict in personality types, in that I tend to be more of an idealist, I guess, while he's more of a realist. Maybe that's what's coming into play here? I don't know...