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Originally Posted by WishfulThinker66
luvyrself - I have a different understanding of co-dependence. When I hear the word two things come to mind. One is the nature of an abusive relationship where the abuser makes the victim dependent upon them. The second that comes to mind is the relationship between a substance abuser and their spouse or partner. I think then of the partner covering up for the addict, alcohol or otherwise, and so on. They have thus become a co-dependent to their partner's problems. Alanon is a 12 step program and support network for such folks too.
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---Yes, what you are describing is the original meaning. However, like the study of combat and rape ptsd lead to a realization that there are many types of trauma (c-ptsd)and hence types of codependency that dont involve substance abuse. My husband doesnt acknowledge or deal with his huge medical issues so I handle them, saving his life, limbs whatever partly to avoid having to be caregiver to a stroke or heart attack victim. Because of that I neglect my own needs and goals. The result is similar in that it is dysfunctional. Both of us end up very angry at times. My dad was an alcoholic, so I understand the whole dynamic of that. I didnt like Al Anon. Some people arent comfortable with that kind of structure tho substance abusers do really well with it. Youre right tho that 12 step would be great for the co dependency of substance abusers.