Shaggy,
I'd look for some outside information on depression and anxiety. Don't keep slogging it out by yourself. This website was a good find for you because you can talk to people and get some direction on how to handle this. Some books or web information on depression and anxiety would help, too. You need to either learn some new skills or resolve some issues in your life. To keep trying to get new results with the same old methods you've been trying for years isn't going to get you anywhere. If you could do some work, show some improvement, and come up with a long term plan then even if you're not totally cured, people around you and even yourself will be more tolerant of your problems.
PM me if you want to.
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