I don't characterize this pretty complex issue as that you have to learn to deal with not getting the reactions you want. I think that's pretty simple and brings to mind a toddler in the grocery store learning that a tantrum for a chocolate bar is not going to happen. I do think that's a piece of it, and also learning not to punish people for not giving you the reactions you want, or responding otherwise in anger.

I think the deeper issue is understanding the expectations you have and why you have them, what they mean for you, and how your expectations shape your communication and the nature of your relationships. I think it's tied to your focus on your T or the other person in the relationship, maybe keeps you stuck in this focus, and turned away from what is in your heart and mind. I don't mean to knock you over the head with this, just saying what it seems like from this side of the computer screen.