Quote:
Originally Posted by DP_2017
I get the fear of him leaving or boundaries changing but you can't live like that, it isn't going to help you in anyway to constantly worry about that.
The bottom line is, He wont be in your life forever. Someday it will end. Someday things will change, even if its natural or mutual. These are just facts of life and therapy in general. It could be years away even.
It's hard but just try to accept those things and try to enjoy the here and now. He hasn't given you any real reason to worry about changes or him leaving. Why does a reply always have to come? Sometimes in life, you can't always get replies from people. You can't always talk out your worries etc. He does have other clients and other things going on in his life, he very well could have been extra busy or just forgot and remember you said yourself he isn't a huge fan of music, so maybe it isn't a big thing for him. He probably didn't see a need to reply to that, as you dont' see a need for him to reply to you when you say thanks or whatever. At some point, one party ends the replies but it doesn't mean the care stops etc
I agree with Anne about learning not to punish people for not giving you what you want, I notice that pattern often in your write ups and it's a good point. That might also be a good thing to think about and consider.
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Much of this is stuff I'm working on in therapy. It's not as easy as it may seem from the outside to just be like "For now he's not going anywhere, and it's going to end eventually, and I'm OK with that." Because I'm not just that way about T--I'm that way about most relationships in my life. And it's a lot of work to change that viewpoint, to keep myself from being triggered by tiny little things.
The other thing I didn't mention is that I feel like maybe I screwed up in sending him that email, that maybe it was too much for him, that it annoyed him. And if that's the case, I imagine he'll mention it today. And I know, if it annoys him, it's OK, it doesn't mean he's leaving. But it's still something I'm worried about because it's just such a central part of my anxiety (again, with everyone in my life, not just him). And I think this is a case where I *should* bring up those fears because it applies to so many areas and touches on so many things for me. It's not at all just about whether I sent the email or whether he replied--this touches on a bunch of stuff. Stuff that I *am* working on, it's just a long process and, as he's said, it's not linear.