I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, -Astral- Please don't hurt yourself. What makes you think that you're hurting people? I don't think it's true. In fact, I'm sure you're helping out many more people than you think ok. Please don't throw away everything you have. You're a wonderful person simply because you exist. I'm sure you'd be missed by many people if you were gone. I'd certainly miss you and your posts. Please don't give up. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Try to find as many distractions as you can. What do you like to do in your free time? Do you have any hobbies? Try to hang on. Do you have a support system IRL? Any friends or family members that you could reach out to? Either way, we're here for you if you need to talk about it. Keep writing here if it helps. We'll listen to what you have to say. We all care about you here. We all love you here. Trust me when I say that. Feel free to vent here as much as you want. You know we won't judge you. I promise you that. If it gets bad, call an hotline or go to an hospital. I understand it's not an easy decision to make, but your safety must be the priority. You're a wonderful person and you deserve to get help. Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. You could learn new ways to cope with your feelings. I'd also suggest to talk to your Pdoc about this and see how it goes from there if you havent' already. I hope you'll be able to get the help you need and deserve. You deserve to get better and to feel good. You deserve to live a good life just like everyone else. You're a wonderful person. Stay strong, -Astral-. Stay safe and take care of yourself. You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! Try to hang on. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. I hope things will get better soon for you. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this