My t used to look at me kind of shocked and apprehensively and say, "I'm not going to clean your house for you!" I would be like, i didnt even think i was asking him that, where was that coming from? But i didnt say that - i kinda wish i had.

Anyway, this now sounds to me similar to what your t is saying to you. They cant do it for us. Half of us lives in our addictions, but the other half doesnt get to live at all. We CANT go all in - its one half lives and the other dies. We cant have our cake and eat it too, as was said in another t thread.