I am fairly new here and have posted in the new members welcome section. I wanted to post something here to get some feedback.


I have recently began to see behavior in my wife that indicates possible narcissistic tendencies or disorder. I am aware of the problems of diagnosing something like this from inside the relationship, but at this point I am seeing a therapist once a week, but she is not willing to go see anyone. My question is that recently I have started to question her motives on behaviors that have been there for many years and that I have never thought much of because I assumed she had good and pure intentions. I am seeing things that look fairly innocent, but yet looked at from a different view could be subtle manipulations. Let me give you an example:

This past Friday I went to see a new therapist. My wife and I have been struggling in our relationship and haven't spoken a whole lot at all in the last 2 weeks. I told her at 9 AM on Friday morning that I had an appointment with a new therapist. She wanted to talk, and I listened without responding more than about 5 words.


She followed me talking as I went to get ready to go. She stood outside the shower and talked while I was showering, she followed me outside to get my shoes, and was basically no more than 10 feet away from the time I told her, until I left (about 1 hour). I said I really had to go, and just had to leave even though she didn't appear done talking.


When I got to the appointment, she texted me at 2 minutes before my scheduled appointment start time and apologized if she had made me late. After the appointment was over I texted her to let her know I was running to the store and wouldn't be home for a bit still. She called me immediately after this text, but I didn't answer and texted her that I didn't really want to talk and needed time to process what I had discussed with the therapist. She then texted that she just had a question about our upcoming taxes, I then texted that I would be home in an hour and we could look at her question. She immediately texted back that it was no big deal because she had called our CPA to get the answer. By the time stamps on my phone the total time elapsed between her texting me she had a question and then texting me again that she had called the CPA and gotten an answer was 3 minutes.


So I feel like a paranoid detective, but I can't figure out how she could call me with a supposed question about taxes, text me that she had a question about taxes, then call the CPA and get the answer to that question, and text me that she had called the CPA, all in about 3 minutes. All of this happened within seconds of me letting her know I was done with my therapy session.


It felt like she was leaving me alone during the session because that would be too obvious, and the therapist would see that, but she wanted to have maximum contact with me immediately before the session, and immediately after. Her reason for calling about having a question on taxes felt completely made up as an excuse to talk to me and influence my session with the therapist before I had internalized anything. Like she wanted to make sure that whatever the therapist said was "spun" in the right way so as to not be damaging for her.

Am I crazy? Or does this appear like manipulative behavior to anyone else?