I didn't realize she was, but just recently I realized I don't talk to my mom or my sisters more than once a year or sometimes even less. I thought about why I don't care for my family much and it was because they had done or said things that I disagreed with enough to kind of separate myself from them. The thing that freaked me out (I just realized this a week ago) was that I tried to think if I had seen or heard them do or say the things that bothered me. I never witnessed it myself, it was always second hand from my wife. I believed what she told me they had said because at the time I had no reason to think it wasn't true. Last week I remembered a fight that my wife and I got into that started because of something my wife had said that my mom had said. It ended in a big blow up fight. I paused for a minute last week and texted my mom and told her I really wound not be upset if she had said this, but that I just really needed to know why she had thought that. My mom was perplexed even by my question, and when I got more specific she outright said "Why would I say that, that's not what happened." So I haven't confronted my wife with this fabrication of my mother's words, but it has now made me start to question the motives of a lot of things she says and does. I have also found myself thinking poorly about people that used to be my friends, and again it seems to originate from me being offended by something my wife told me they had said or done.

I am freaked out by all of this, because it doesn't even seem real that all of this distance from my family and not really having any friends could be deliberate. It just seems like i'm in the twilight zone