Bubbles00,

any more thoughts to share with us? hows it going?

you explained your situation so well, thank you for putting my own experience into words. i was in the same situation, more or less... i ended up breaking up with my BF. but not so much for the sui ideation as much because i was unable to love him. the sui ideation is still my plan A though. and i feel guilty even for letting my friend to be my friend.

have you tried talking about your sui ideation with your BF? i think maybe letting him know and letting him decide whether he wants to stay with you or not would be a good way to go.

hows it going these days?