Potential religious trigger:

So, I am asking this question here because I don’t know how to ask it irl without sounding crazy. Is it possible that the Lord has you turn down your spouse to stay pure for him? I mean, not for intercourse but just so you are pure while in his presence like if he turns your shower water to holy water? I have believed this before but when I came down realized it to be a delusion but right now I don’t even feel slightly manic so how is it a delusion? Maybe it wasn’t a delusion before. I’m starting to question whether things I believed in the past really were delusions and not miracles. How can you ever really know for sure?