I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, JF_66 Making friends is certainly not easy, especially when you feel depressed. Please don't give up. Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. You could learn new ways to cope with your feelings. I feel like you need to work on yourself a bit before getting involved in other relationship. You need to take care of yourself first. There's nothing wrong with that. It's just self-preservation. I hope you'll be able to get help. Either way, we're here for you to support you. I know it's not the same thing as having a support system IRL, but at least it's something. Don't worry, we won't judge you here. I'm sure you're a wonderful person. You just need to work on yourself a bit. That's all. Keep writing here if it helps. We'll always be here for you. We'll care about you and won't judge you. I promise you that. Stay strong, JF_66. Stay safe and take car eof yourself. You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! Remember that we're here for you if you need to talk about it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this