Ian,

There are different reasons why people cut - but I agree with penna, that it is often a coping mechanism. The problem is, it is a very poor coping mechanism, which rarely helps for more than a short time. Based on the things you have said here, you have a lot of negative feelings toward yourself, and this may be a way for you to release those feelings. But if you are cutting every day, then I think it is important for you to seek out another coping mechanism that is less damaging.

I really think you need therapy...one-on-one contact with a trained professional is the best way to learn a new way to deal with negative feelings. But if you don't feel that you can manage that right now, there are books you can read. One that I would recommend is "Feeling Good" by David Burns. He is known as one of the founders of cognitive therapy, and the book deals with combating that negative self-talk. You can find it in any bookstore in the self-help section, or you can get it on Amazon. Also, you may want to look into books on self-esteem. One that I like is "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay, although it focuses very strongly on affirmations, which are not for everybody.

And of course, keep coming here and talking...hopefully, the support you receive here will help you feel better about yourself, and you can find that the cutting becomes less compelling and you can resist the urge.

*hugs*
mj