Thanks for the support, all, I'd like to address this one in particular, line by line, and then I'll go back over what I missed with the rest of you.
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pinksoil said:
Did the men specifically say that looks had to mean size zero?
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They didn't name a size, but a number of them did specify "not overweight" or "weight/height proportional," which means the same thing. Weight was the number one determining factor in what was meant by good looks. It isn't just the men here at PC. I've read a lot of personal ads that have the same attitude. I once read one that went on and on about how lonely he is, and how he couldn't find the right woman for him, then he had the gall to close it with "Please, no fatties." (Dude, no wonder you're so lonely, with a shallow attitude like that.)
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pinksoil said:Why can't look encompass whatever someone is attracted to, whether that be some skinny, someone curvy, someone small, someone big, someone with long hair, someone with short hair?
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I wish it did. I had this discussion with my mother; how Hollywood has brainwashed us into thinking that only one body type is attractive, and that if we had grown up all our lives with nothing but big women in the movies and on magazine covers, we might think differently-- and before I could even finish saying that, she cut me off. "NO!" she practically screamed. "Fat is NOT attractive!" (Nice thing to say to your overweight daughter.) She can go on all she wants about how she only nags me about my weight because she's concerned for my health. She let the truth slip once--she's ashamed to be seen with me. She's afraid society will judge *her* and say it's her fault she raised such a fat daughter.
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pinksoil said:You mentioned you had a fiancee-- I would imagine he finds you physically attractive.
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He says he does, but he is in a very small minority.
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pinksoil said:I find my husband physically attractive. I'm sure there are women out there who would agree with me, and women out there who wouldn't.
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I do greet Mike in the morning with "Hi, handsome," but mind you he's no Brad Pitt. I'd class him as a John Goodman, just like I'm a Roseanne rather than an Angelina Jolie. But then, I'd choose John Goodman over Brad Pitt anyway. It's the not-so-beautiful people who treat their partners better. People who look like all that, well, they *know* it, and expect to be treated better because of it.
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pinksoil said:When I say that looks are important to me, it doesn't mean the man has to look like a celebrity-- it means that I have a certain type of physical look that I am attracted to and I would like my man (husband) to fit that type-- as well as all the other emotional/intellectual/character/personality stuff.
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OK, so we can agree on that much, that he doesn't have to look like a Greek statue, but what bothers me is the priority list. What's more important, a handsome hunk who treats me like the scum of the earth, or a man who is kind-hearted, thoughtful, considerate, and loving, but looks like something my cat coughed up on the rug?