Hello Sisabel. This sounds like a confusing and painful situation for you. I am sorry you are experiencing this. When I read your initial post, by the time I got to the end of it, I felt that you had already developed a good instinct about the dynamic...though perhaps you aren't quite ready or willing to follow your instinct?

You say you don't enjoy time around your daughter, her hub, and the baby. It's uncomfortable and strained. So, in my opinion it makes sense for you to carve out less time with them.

You mentioned that you can't quite visualize your place in the baby's life. That is a very painful though important realization. For the time being anyway, if things aren't right at all with your daughter and she's baby's Mama Bear...well you know where that leaves you.

All is not lost though. There is something you can try. What if you take a long step back from daughter/hub/baby? For longer than may even feel right or comfortable to you. Step back, focus on your life and peace and joy. See what happens. You never know. You might be surprised by what the future brings....your long absence may be missed more than you could imagine....which may then inspire a new appreciation for you. No guarantees of course and not easy to do but I have done this in my own life and it did help after a while. I wish you peace.