I can totally see where your H would kind of just sit back and let you talk if that was the path of least resistance. It might be easier (or at least more necessary!) for your H to open up if there wasn't the LT/MC dynamic taking up so much space. I really, truly don't think MC knew what he was doing, which might have even made things worse. With the right couples counselor, the fact that your H is slow to open up could be useful data in itself.

I get a tiny flavor of how my T approaches relationship issues when we talk about my marriage and she gives me suggestions about how to handle certain issues. It's very different from the individual work we usually do. I also learned a few really interesting things about the assumptions my wife makes when I brought her to an individual session once. And she and I talk all the time at home. So I bet there are all kinds of things you could learn about your H in the right setting. And I have to think a stronger marriage would make it easier for you to make the changes you want to make in yourself too.

Maybe you can see if Dr. T could provide a referral to somebody who has a style similar to his? I agree that he seems like he could be really good with marriage counseling and working on relationship skills, so maybe he knows some like-minded professionals in your area.