Sorry to be a lurker. Life has been crazy, insurance changes, job changes, school changes (from elementary to 6th grade for my daughter, they are doing a lot of stuff dealing with this now in the spring semester of 5th grade), schedule changes, my mom had gallbladder removal (gallstones stuck in bile duct) and now they found a spot on her kidney during a scan, so that's got me worried.

I'd been thinking for awhile now that I need to see that CBT therapist I was seeing at the end of last year, the first therapist in 15 years or more I've actually clicked with. She's unfortunately not on my insurance plan but seems to think she will be able to get on it, and if not, she's worth paying out-of-network for because of the time I've had of finding a therapist I am comfortable with and who I feel can actually help me. I also got the feeling the last time I saw her that she might do some sliding-scale pay as well if money becomes a difficulty.

It's scary because I think she can actually work me through a lot of the really, really bad traumas I've had to go through in my life, versus just going, talking to someone, often just about your week or something, and getting nothing accomplished. She says I need to work through these traumas in order to deal with other issues in my life and to better deal with life issues as they come up, and I know she is right, but it's scary too.

I really hope my instincts were right. I did suddenly make the decision to call today out of the blue and did it before re-thinking it. Hopefully, this was the right thing to do. I make too many decisions this way, and most of them turn out badly.