I'm so sorry, sinking, I didn't see this thread earlier I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you. How are you doing? I hope things are going a bit better. I hope your appointment with your T will go well. I'm glad you have one. Please share all the doubts you have to him/her. He/she's there to help you after all. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Life is worth living. I'm sure there's at least a part of you that wants to live and to get better. After all, you're still reaching out for help. And that's awesome! Try to hang on to that part of you as much as you can. You're a wonderful person. We all love you here as this thread has already shown you. We all care about you here. I certainly care about you. You've helped me with your sweet posts and messages. I'm sure you're helping out many other people with your posts as well. I'm sure many other people here on PC can relate to what you wrote here, and they can feel less alone. You're actually doing a lot of good just by venting here. Keep doing that! Keep writing here if it helps. I hope we're able to help you a bit. You don't deserve to suffer like this, sinking. You deserve to get better and to live an happy life just like everyone else does. You deserve that because you're a wonderful person and because you exist. But to do that you need to be alive first. Please remember that. I'd suggest to make a safety plan with your therapist. I feel ike that could really help you. That way you'd be in less danger. If things get bad, please do consider going to the hospital. I know it's hard. But your safety must be the priority. And there's nothing to be ashamed of. Are there any hotlines you can call if things get bad? I'd suggest to try that as well. You're a wonderful person. Stay strong, sinking. Stay safe and take care of yourself. You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. I hope things will get better soon for you. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, my friend