I HATE that part too. Especially because I'd do it again & again (and of course more trauma and garbage gets tacked on to the end as time & life go on), and then, for me, 3 or 4 months later, I will realize the therapy I'm going to is useless & not helping me a bit. Then, I'd wait a few months, try again, same result.

I really hope the therapist can make it work to get in-network with my insurance, but honestly, I've had years of no luck finding a therapist, and if the out-of-network is not sky high, I'd rather pay that than just let the chance pass by. I was diagnosed with MI at 19, and I'm 41 now. I have been through more therapists than shoes, I sometimes think.

I met this therapist as a compromise to getting around a 6 hour long CPS psych eval when I had that CPS stuff going on in Sept. 2018. They didn't have a CPS psych eval location close enough to my home that wouldn't disrupt my daughter & H's schedules too, and since it seemed the caseworker didn't think there was grounds for a case, she cleared it with her supervisor to let me see a local therapist of my choice. I had to keep 1 or 2 appointments to satisfy CPS, but then, some good came out of all that stress as I ended up finding a good therapist for me and one very close to my house as well. I always knew I used my own version CBT to pull myself out of the worst of my ED though it was only years after the fact that I realized that what I had done was CBT. So I probably should have been looking for a CBT therapist in the first place, which I never did and only got one with this therapist I met last fall.

Her personality is a good fit for me, and I don't feel like searching another 20 years to find a therapist that will work for me. I'd actually given up on therapy altogether at the point when I first saw her, and then I realized I just hadn't found the right therapist for me. So fingers crossed it will help. She said she'd call back in a couple days, so I can schedule.