I really need some practical advice, and I hope someone can give me some insight, because I'm fresh out of ideas and I feel like a worn-out, balding tire that's ready for a blowout. I cant continue like this. Here's what's going on:
<ul type="square">[*]My wife has been depressed for many years, and it’s been much worse since she had post-partum psychosis in 2001-2002 (hallucinations, delusions, self-harm, the works), which resulted in a one-month psychiatric hospitalization. The psychosis is gone, but her severe depression remains[*] She had a sudden personality change in November 2007, after which she has almost completely cut herself off from everyone, including me and our two kids. She tells me that she doesn't know if she's in love with me anymore. [*] She flatly refuses to talk to me about our situation. When I try, she gets furious with me and pulls further away[*] She told me she wanted a separation, and that she wanted to leave the kids and me and just be by herself. But I believe she doesn’t think she can make it on her own, so instead she wanders around the house like a ghost, avoiding the kids and me completely and hiding away in the computer room for nearly every waking hour[*]She’s chatting on the Internet 8-14 hours per day, going to bed between 2 and 6 AM. Online, she’s talking to people and telling half-truths about how I drove her into this situation. And she’s having online affairs. She has declared her love for her British Facebook-hookup guy, has frequent cyber-sex with him, and she keeps making plans to meet up with him in person. He tells her he may leave his girlfriend and move here so they can be together.[*]She recently started seeing a therapist for the first time but she won’t take any antidepressant medication[*]I do all the housework, cooking and parenting, plus I have a full time job. I have been as supportive as I can, trying not to pressure or push her, and trying to show her that I’m here for her and I'm always willing to help, because I thought that was the best thing to do[*]But I feel utterly used and alone, and I feel like a cuckold and a fool for allowing this to continue. Every day there's a lead weight in the pit of my stomach. This is killing me.[/list]I'm losing hope, and I'm afraid that what I'm doing - or not doing - is making things steadily worse. Some books say that to encourage someone who's depressed to seek treatment, you shouldn't shield them from the effects of their depression. Is that advisable? How do I do that?

She's cheating on me and has no interest in being with me. What I'd really like to do is password-protecting our computer to shut off her internet access and tell her that a condition for her living at home is to keep taking her meds. But I'm afraid that if I try to force the issue or take some control I think she'll just burrow further down into her isolation and depression.

But I feel like I have to do something. Should I act?