I spoke to my pdoc. She is increasing my Latuda and also wants me to stay in IOP until it’s completion. I didn’t take my meds this morning and admitted that to her and she just gently reminded me I will be hospitalized if I choose not to take them. She encouraged me to briefly describe what is happening to my husband so I will have some accountability so I just told him that I feel like I’m not mentally ill and it’s making it difficult to take my meds because I feel like they are unhealthy for me. He did not, to my surprise, overreact and understood...even said anyone with chronic illness feels this way sometimes (he has heart disease). He said he would look out for me. I just hope he doesn’t nag me and take it overboard.
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Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now
Tori Amos ~ Crucify
Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
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