I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Dnester Don't worry, we won't get mad at you. We just want to understand your situation better so that we can give you better advice. There's only so much we can do for you though. I'd suggest to do as your therapist says. Just keep journaling as much as you can. Report everything that you find unusual. That way you'll hopefully be able to clear things up. Just try not to resist help. They're there to help you. Just try to do your best. That's all you can do after all. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. Please don't give up. I hope things will get better soon for you. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this