I’m not sure if it is this anxiety talking but I’m about to get in the car and drive very far, far, far away. I am serious. I need to get away from here. This music is making my mind disconnected and disjointed but my mind is built up...like I’m on drugs. I’m feeling increasingly more nervous to take medicine. I did take my nightly meds just 5 minutes ago at my husband’s request but I can’t see taking a “rescue” drug like my klonapin or more seroquel. I don’t know if I should page the on call doctor? What would I even say? I don’t feel like it’s an emergency. But I feel like I am screaming inside and I don’t know if I’ll make it through the night without fleeing. Maybe my meds will make me tired? I suppose I’ll try to stay here and wait. My husband keeps asking me over and over if I’m sure there’s not something else I should be telling him. Not even sure how to respond to that one. Part of me regrets asking for his accountability.