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sarahsweets · Mar 07, 2019, 02:24 AM

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Originally Posted by TheCondimentKing

My girlfriend recently attempted suicide for the second time in our relationship recently. After she was released recently I have been unable to cope as well as I have in the past. I get overwhelmed with feelings of anxiety and I begin to worry about how she is feeling at all times and what condition she is in.

Have you heard of codependency? It sounds like you might be codependent. A lot of codependent people become very emeshed in each others' lives and well being. It is important to maintain an independent you during her time of need.

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This usually develops into feelings of hopelessness about what I can do to help her. I than can only focus on worst case scenarios and at that point I can no longer function in any capacity for awhile.

This reminds me of something I do as well that I call "catastrophic thinking". Its sort of like.. when my window of tolerance gets lower and lower I have to function but still try and deal with the stressful situation that is affecting my tolerance. This sometimes leads to unreasonable worry and worst case scenario worries. EX: If I am worried about my son (he just had a stroke in Nov and is 22) and it becomes too much and its stormy outside.. I may start to worry about what if he gets trapped in a tornado or caught in a blizzard even though that is not what is really happening with the weather. But my concern for his well being is so high and severe that it transfers to cases like I mentioned. I realize its not rational but feel like I cant help it. I do not know if that makes sense to you but its the best I could do to explain it.

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Additionally, her family as well as mine think I'm "strong" which allows them to vent all of their concerns and worries on to me. I want to be the person people can talk to, but it's fueling my negative emotions.

Why do you want to be the person people can talk to? What do you get out of it? It sounds like it is not good for you.
I suppose what I'm asking is... How can I overcome these feelings? Does anyone have any advice for me, my girlfriend or either of our situations? Thank you in advance, I appreciate it. Again, sorry if I made any mistakes![/QUOTE]