I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, TeaFruit It seems like a very hard and complicated situation for you. Please don't give up. I agree with what all the others have already wisely said better than I ever could. Sometimes people can decide not to accept our apology. We just need to accept that. It can happen. It's not your fault. I'm so sorry, I know it's not easy to accept. I hope you'll be able to move on. Unfortunately things in life can change. We can't really control how others will react to us. What matters is that you've wrote a really good apology and that you have at least tried to make peace with your friend or not. Whether or not she'll accept it or not is up to her. You can't control her decision. Try not to think about it too much. If she'll want you back in your life, she'll contact you. I'd suggest to focus on yourself for a while now. Just try to do something nice for yourself. You deserve to take a break from all of this. I'm so sorry you've had bad experiences with friends so far. I hope you'll be able to find some friend that truly love you for who you truly are. I'm glad you're seeing a therapist. Perhaps you could talk to him about this and see how it goes from there. Please don't give up. Moving on isn't easy, but it can be done. It just takes time and effort. Stay strong, TeaFruit. Stay safe and take care of yourself. You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be able to get through this. Just focus on yourself, give it time, try to do your best and do something nice for yourself. You deserve it. I hope things will get better soon for you. We're here for you if you need to talk about it. We all care about you here. We all love you here. You have definitely some friends in us. Feel free to vent here as much as you want. You know we won't judge you. I promise you that. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this